Tuesday, February 06, 2007
Sometimes I think us Bipolars are just more susceptible than most to inertia. I know “Bipolars” is not politically correct. We are not supposed to be identified as our illness, less the powers that be confuse us with the illness itself. Kind of stupid. Really, what else are we to them. Do they really care what our favorite color is, or where we went to college? What our hobbies are, or how many children we have. What our dreams and aspirations are, and at what point in our illness did we gave up on ever achieving them. When did my biggest goal become just making it through the day? It seems pointless to put too much effort into achieving more. When the worst of this sweeps over my life it wipes out everything else. It’s like building sandcastles too close to the shore. The tides keep washing them away and tearing them down. Distorting them until they are unrecognizable nubs of their former selves.
Sometimes I think us Bipolars are just more susceptible than most to inertia. I know “Bipolars” is not politically correct. We are not supposed to be identified as our illness, less the powers that be confuse us with the illness itself. Kind of stupid. Really, what else are we to them. Do they really care what our favorite color is, or where we went to college? What our hobbies are, or how many children we have. What our dreams and aspirations are, and at what point in our illness did we gave up on ever achieving them. When did my biggest goal become just making it through the day? It seems pointless to put too much effort into achieving more. When the worst of this sweeps over my life it wipes out everything else. It’s like building sandcastles too close to the shore. The tides keep washing them away and tearing them down. Distorting them until they are unrecognizable nubs of their former selves.
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